Toxic Habits You Need To Eliminate From Your Life
We’re halfway through 2020 and what a rollercoaster it’s been… Deaths, natural disasters, ongoing poverty, war, a pandemic, revolutions; I definitely won’t forget this year. Since recent events, it’s given us time to think about what really matters and one of the things that resonate with me is how we self-destruct and express toxic behaviour within our own lives.
In life we make choices and when we make the wrong choices there are consequences because you’re not only hurting yourself but the people around you. It’s healthy to admit when you’re in the wrong. At the end of the day, we all play a part in the state of our mental health. I believe it’s important that we recognise our toxic habits and find ways to break them. It’s a hard pill to swallow but hear me out.
Be frank
Sometimes when we feel upset or misunderstood, instead of handling the matter directly, what we say and what we do become two separate things. That’s passive-aggressive behaviour. For example, you're mad at your friend so instead of telling her how you feel, you act hostile towards her. The best way to overcome situations where you feel negative towards someone is to address your issues honestly. Your friend is not a mind reader and you can’t expect them to figure it out for themselves.
One of my fears is conflict and I can admit I avoid my problems the same way. I’ve learnt that the key is to express yourself and make peace with your anger rather than trying to conceal it to keep the “peace”. Yet, it’s not keeping the peace it only worsening the situation and pushing people away, so confrontation is inevitable. We are human and it's okay to feel anger as far as you talk assertively and respectfully rather than aggressively. Once you recognise this it will make your life a whole lot easier. Handle the problems in your relationships now as it will only bite you in the a** later.
You’re nobody’s doormat
If you’re a person who’s quite giving or empathetic that’s amazing, but learn when to say no. You probably tend to always put other needs before your own, but there are individuals out there who can make you feel guilty for putting yourself first for once. Try not to give in to those feelings, as that’s manipulation and you're giving that individual what they want. It doesn’t matter whether that person is family or not hold your ground and don’t let anyone walk over you. There’s only so much we can take, and we all have our limits when enough is enough. Live your life on your terms and not for the sake of making others happy.
It’s easier said than done, but it all starts with knowing your self-worth. Are you worthy of respect? Take credit for your achievements in life and prioritise your physical and mental well-being. People-pleasing can lower your self-esteem if you start to seek validation from doing things for others. The act of giving is a kind gesture but when you give too much you forget how to make yourself happy as you rely so much on the joy of others. Know your worth.
Don’t neglect your mental health
The first step to confronting your mental health issues is acknowledging it, then talking to someone who you can trust about these issues. It could be depression or anxiety, it doesn’t matter how minor it may seem to you, but just by opening up about your problems, you will start to see some difference in your mood. If you keep pushing these feelings away it can take a toll on your relationships with people in your life so seek professional advice before your mental health deteriorates. Therapy is open for everyone even if you’re not diagnosed with mental illness so don’t hesitate to talk to someone who can support you and help you break your toxic habits.
Alcohol will only put you on a temporary high
I know I enjoy a drink or two on the weekend but when you turn to excessive drinking to avoid your problems it can be damaging. If you’re feeling stressed from work and go out with your colleagues for a few drinks at the end of the day that’s okay. However, once you make it a constant habit it can be harmful to your physical and mental health. Most of us have had our moments where we drink and some of us may feel on top of the world where we have found this new confidence from nowhere, but this only lasts until the effects of alcohol wear off.
After a night of drinking, the worst part follows; the hangover and all your emotions that you were holding back come rushing in which can consume you if you don’t face your problems. Next time you drink, question yourself. Am I drinking to enjoy my meal or am I drinking to get drunk and ignore how I really feel? Think before you drink, is it really worth it?
Don’t let your insecurities take over
Naturally, we all have insecurities, no one is perfect but that’s what makes each person unique. When you start comparing yourself to others whether that’s career choices, physical appearances or financial situations; you’re only letting your insecurities consume you. This is what translates to jealousy. Don’t become that person who’s always bitter when they see others doing better for themselves. Your time will come, we all go through life at our own pace.
Social media is the devil when it comes to insecurities, so if it helps have a social media cleanse. Log off your accounts for a while or deactivate your accounts if you have to. I feel like social media has become such a toxic online environment as it just spreads negative energy that some of us can’t just be happy for the success of others. The source of success or happiness that others have may not be for you so focus on yourself. What you can do to better yourself? What makes you happy? One quote that sticks with me is “Stop comparing yourself to others and compete exclusively with yourself”, so that means to set yourself personal goals and challenge yourself. Don’t lead your life based on someone else’s achievements.
